The Serby Mock 3.0: a pair of hog mollies in the first round for the Giants, and one for the Jets.
Teams filling needs in free agency caused a seismic change from Mocks 1.0 and 2.0. Picks 1-20 this time, and 1-25 coming in Mock 4.0.
Kyler Murray (QB, Oklahoma)
He’s taller than Sean Spicer, Anthony Scaramucci, Lady Gaga, Mats Zuccarello, Lionel Messi, Mookie Betts, Michael Dukakis, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, Wolf Blitzer, Ian Eagle, and that’s just my short list of candidates. And new coach Kliff Kingsbury wants to him to be his first NFL quarterback. Unless Jon Gruden wants to bring a dynamic toy to Las Vegas next season with Antonio Brown and makes Cardinals president Mike Bidwill an offer he can’t refuse. No one knows.
Asked about Josh Rosen, Giants GM Dave Gettleman says at a press conference: “They didn’t sign him to trade him.”
Voila! Let’s give Rosen to the Giants for a third-round pick and Kyle Lauletta.
Nick Bosa (DE/OLB, Ohio State)
Just because you signed Dee Ford in free agency … well, the Tom Coughlin Giants always thought you could never have enough pass rushers.
Quinnen Williams (DT, Alabama)
A one-man bounty hunter (just kidding Gregg Williams, just kidding). A disruptive force inside who will help Leonard Williams (no relation) on the interior in his contract year.
Dwayne Haskins (QB, Ohio State)
Gruden likes the Kansas City model that intrigues Gettleman. Much better than Derek Carr will.
Josh Allen (OLB, Kentucky)
The elite pass rusher defensive coordinator Todd Bowles never had with the Jets.
Christian Wilkins (DL, Clemson)
Big people — 6-foot-3, 315 pounds — allow you to compete. A line Gettleman has borrowed from Coughlin. Earned a communications degree in 2 ¹/₂ years, has his master’s degree, was a substitute teacher, led team in extra-effort plays. Bookend for B.J. Hill. A classic Gettleman guy.
Jawaan Taylor (OT, Florida)
Big people — 6-5, 334 — allow you to protect Nick Foles and resurrect Leonard Fournette.
Montez Sweat (DE, Mississippi State)
Big people — 6-6, 260 pounds and plenty of room to grow — allow you to help Trey Flowers rush the quarterback.
Rashan Gary (DL, Michigan)
Considered more of an athlete than a football player, but DT Kyle Williams has retired, DE Jerry Hughes turns 31 in August, GM Brandon Beane and coach Sean McDermott don’t mind gambling on upside.
Devin White (LB, LSU)
Joe Flacco is hardly the long-term answer, but John Elway waits before throwing another dart at the franchise quarterback dartboard and gets a sideline-to-sideline replacement for Brandon Marshall.
Marquise Brown (WR, Oklahoma)
If at first you don’t succeed with a blazer, try try again, so new coach Zac Taylor replaces former No. 1 draft John Ross with Hollywood Brown, the DeSean Jackson clone and nice complement to A.J. Green and Tyler Boyd.
Ed Oliver (DT, Houston)
Kenny Clark and Mike Daniels could more help than they got last year from Muhammad Wilkerson.
Brian Burns (DE/OLB, Florida State)
Drew Lock tempts coach Brian Flores, but why not a replacement for Cameron Wake and Tank For Tua instead?
Jonah Williams (OL, Alabama)
He can be a plug-and-play at either position on the suspect right side.
D.K. Metcalf (WR, Mississippi)
Josh Doctson hasn’t panned out, Jamison Crowder is a Jet, and boy, can Case Keenum use a 6-foot-3, 228-pound target like this.
Andre Dillard (OT, Washington State
The best pass blocker in the draft, replaces LT Matt Kalil and joins C Matt Paradis and resigned Daryl Williams on a remodeled offensive line for whenever Cam Newton makes it back from shoulder surgery.
17. Giants (from Browns
Cody Ford (RT, Oklahoma)
After several sleepless nights, Gettleman offers this pick to Browns GM John Dorsey, but when Eli Manning saunters into the draft room, Gettleman is reminded what a mensch the 38-year-old Giants legend is and gets him a 6-foot-4, 338-pound bully. Because — wait for it — big people allow you to compete.
T.J. Hockenson (TE, Iowa)
A value pick who would give Kirk Cousins a formidable tandem with TE Kyle Rudolph.
Clelin Ferrell (DE, Clemson)
Wake still has some juice left, but he’s 37, and younger legs will be needed to help hound Andrew Luck, Deshaun Watson and Foles.
Devin Bush (LB, Michigan)
A 5-foot-11, 234-pounder with 4.43 speed who fills the void left by Ryan Shazier’s career-ending spinal cord injury.